Amos Yee’s ‘Amosization’: A New Metaphor Coined In His Honor

(Initially published on the Internet on Feb. 25, 2017)

Setting a precedent for ‘amosization’ (courtesy of Amos Yee and company) — an altogether becoming figure of speech is thus born…

The herp derp that is the hare-brained asylum gambit of Amos Yee does beggar imagination however you slice it … I’ve previously characterized it here as the gang that simply couldn’t shoot straight. Verily, Amos and his gang committed such monumental comedy of errors to begin with on his asylum quest — the ultimate of mea culpas — they will be hard put to live it down for the rest of their lives. Such unmitigated comedic buffoonery in the class of The Three Stooges merits a fresh metonym for its originality per se: henceforth to ‘amosize’ an enterprise/endeavor means to render it fubar even before it has a chance to get off the ground. Amos and his gang duly deserve the dubious honor for this neologism for having shot themselves in the foot right off the gate — first by lying to the Immigration checkpoint officer about his intent of social visit; then as swiftly as not, surrendering all the evidence on record contained in his smartphone, of being in cahoots with his mentor Melissa Chen on his ulterior, surreptitious motive of asylum that resulted in his on-the-spot detention.

Having thus far ‘amosized’ his asylum bid, what’s in store for him next come the 7th of March? … which could probably be his day of possible asylum relief or ignominious deportation, courtesy of Immigration Judge Samuel Cole. But then came this latest scuttlebutt circulating online over his puerile jailhouse spat with Muslim fellow inmates that resulted in his penalty in solitary confinement. So, if anything, his latest jailhouse acting up (in Feb.) would surely militate against his chance for even a sympathetic hearing. Above all, it is the utter oversight/misreading by Amos and his U.S. gang of intimate advisors on the basic dos and don’ts of asylum application — in the era of Trump no less — that makes his doomed asylum enterprise so truly tragicomic. This March 7 could become official and as clear as day that Amos and company had embarked on a fool’s errand in the States. Any protracted attempts at the appeals process would only destine this teen to spending his 21st birthday in a tank, snubbed to his 6 by 9 cell, incessantly commiserating in sunless pod with other alien kindred spirits (hopefully non-Muslim ones if he could find them).

As with the Singapore authority, it has cannily kept a low profile — in fact not so much as a peep from any official panjandrum at home over his asylum brouhaha. But make no mistake about the woes awaiting him once his extradition is complete … first things first: for his NS AWOL bid, some quod time will be meted out to him — as if a further reminder of insult to his already humiliating injury. (Incidentally, the local penalty for gazetted NS defaulters is a jail term of up to 3 years and/or a fine of $5K.) After which, he’ll be lateraled off to boot camp for a 2-year spine-stiffening stint in National Service. But that would indeed be camp sweet liberty for him, considering the precious amount of self-induced lost of time and freedom he sustained in foreign sterile hoosegows he once deliriously portrayed as being ‘heaven’.

Alas, it’s all part and parcel of Amos’ painful and tortuous journey of gradually becoming an adult. But I don’t see him simply mizzling into obscurity because of it. Quite the contrary, I anticipate a prospective Amos reboot, a 2.0 iteration of self if you will in due course — hopefully by then, a chastened, humbled, more mature persona in evidence starting de novo. However, that would not likely be evident anytime soon after being dealt such thoroughgoing, ego-crushing, self-perpetuating Waterloos at home and abroad. Only time will tell how well he takes his lumps.

Meantime, let me re-post here an updated poem penned in his honor.

…………………………………………………………………….

Poesy! Poesy! The Rime Of Amos Yee

(Disclaimer: the following not meant as schadenfreude but a jeremiad)

There once was a cocky, precocious Amos.

By Jove, try did this teen to be infamous!

March 2015, as the nation mourned,

He was all champing at the bit to taunt;

………………………………………………………….

Effing and blinding his dearie countrymen,

Mocking them as necrophiliac sycophants;

Impetuously tempted and dared fate proper

In an uptight nation of law and order.

……………………………………………………………

Ergo, received 4 weeks in the pokey

For which methought was overly meany,

Thus prompted my dispatch of a Court letter.

In truth, he’s but a time-released disaster!

………………………………………………………………

Hell’s bells! for no sooner was the hellion sprung

Than he took leave of the senses of his tongue.

Shall we all or shall we not forgive him so,

Who now outraged even sacred status quo.

………………………………………………………………….

The second verdict I concurred, was in conscience.

This time: 6 weeks, but served only half the sentence;

Spent the rest at home watching Trump’s wild election,

While he was being egged on to scheme on asylum.

……………………………………………………………………..

Of late July, the waif’s bid stays in limbo,

Looking at umpteen moons of touch-and-go.

Big sisters, babysitters cum keepers,

Behooves you now to be his coddlers.

………………………………………………………………………….

But with his app now on ice till the next big test,

Shouldn’t he be due home for his army-NS?

Big sisters cum keepers let’s be forthright,

Prolonging his gamble is plain not right.

…………………………………………………………………………

For can’t you see the writing is on the wall

As he lost his marbles on his Facebook wall —

Host-vituperation was so uncalled for;

Riding his sham grandiosity for a fall.

…………………………………………………………………………….

Obiter dictum:

Expression can have dire comeuppance.

Disagree? Just ask the hapless Snowden.

Noisome hubris and being a Narcissist,

That per se is Amos’ own worst nemesis.

………………………………………………………………………….

For borne on the night-wind of the past,

Through all of history to the very last,

Satires à la Horace/Juvenal did rule,

But profanity/blasphemy was never cool.

(By Lester Kok, first published Jan. 30, 2017 with the ‘month’ update within adjusted accordingly)

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